So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
