No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
