I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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