exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
