I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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