Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
