dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
