I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
