New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
