don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize