you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
