Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
