she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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