I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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