Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
