Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
