I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
