just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
