you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
