so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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