the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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