I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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