Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Everything about him screamed your future.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
