it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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