went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
