Only a mothe r could love this liver
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
