somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
