Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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