OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize