Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
