I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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