My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
