walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
