yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
