Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize