I want to have your abortion
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
