I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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