If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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