she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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