We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
