I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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