i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
