Tell her she can't have a vagina
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
