I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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