dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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