I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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