She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
