I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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