Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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