i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
