Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
