We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize