escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
