Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
