i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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