But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
