Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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