go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
