I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
