wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
